I really need something to do and that does not include studying. Maybe coz I'm nervous about tomorrow meeting with the counsellor and lecturer. Can't run away and avoid anymore, can I? I made a 'Link Me' button (see the side bar) Ha Ha. Hmm.. ate a 'butter & sugar' bun a while ago. It costs RM0.80. Delicious. Should have bought more. The air-conditioning is freezing me up. Luckily I'm wearing my sweater to sleep. Met gym-boy when having dinner with ah-boy. It was good seeing him. Someone I know (not so personally but close enough). We hug, it was funny coz he's taller than me and I felt ackward. LOL. Spending time with ah-boy lighten me up a bit, but I guess moments like this won't last forever won't they. Ah-boy told me to decide for myself, saying it's time for me to make my own decision. Can I not make my own decision? Because it always turns out bad. Yes, I chose this course and I've to deal with it. Honestly, I was secretly jumping of joy in my heart when my mum told me to change course now. Actually, she told me during every semester break but I was stubborn. No ones fault actually. Just mine. Now she's offering me that choice again, I'm guessing it's going to be the last time she's going to offer me this chance. I want to grab it but is the option really open for me? Can I chance course now and still be a student here or do I have to finish my current course and fail it again. Failing does not do any good to one's self confidence. I can tell you that.

Anyway, just feeling bored. Going to find some more funky stuff to add to this blogspot thingy. This is the 2nd blogspot account I have and a tblog account before that. The earlier ones that I had are now dead or on permanent hiatus. I've decided to let them go. Maybe because I'm obviously known with that username so I can't really blog as open as I want and I don't want them to know the real me. I hope this blog won't die like the previous ones. My mum haven't emailed me back. I think it's daylight at her side of the world. I haven't call my sister about my school fees. I don't know how to talk to her. Speechless. Because once I let out my voice to the phone, I surely would just breakdown and cry. That I did when I receive the scholarship news and told my sister about it. A few words to describe the moments. Shocked, betrayed, pressured, shy, humiliated, lost.