Life in the world
is unpredictable and uncertain.
Life is difficult,
short and fraught with suffering.

Being born, one has to die;
this is the nature of the world.
With old age there is death;
this is the way things are.

When fruit is ripe,
it may drop early in the morning.
In the same way,
one who is born may die at any moment.

Just as all the pots
made by all the potters
End in being broken,
So it is with the life of all who are born.

Neither young nor old,
foolish nor wise
Will escape the trap of death.
All move towards death.

They are overcome by death.
They pass on to another world.
A father cannot save his son
or a family it's members.

Look! With relatives watching,
with tears and crying,
Men are carried off one by one,
Like cattle to the slaughter.

So, death and aging
are a natural part of the world.
Thus, the wise grieve not,
seeing the nature of the world.

おげんきですか
It's been a busy day neh. I spend my afternoons with ah-boy, seems to be spending alot of time with him lately. Will he get sick of my presence? I know that he knows that I'm emotionally unstable and seems to be determine to make me awake from this dying-dream, I appreciate his effort but I can't let go anymore. This has been a part of me for too long that I can't just forget and smile the next day. Without this sadness, I will feel like I've lost something very important in my life. This is me. If he is stubborn to change that, I would be worse to keep it safe with me. My facination with sadness, despair and death has led me to who I am and I do not regret my actions towards it. I do no care if people can't accept it. It's me. I will not smile and become a cheerful person just because I want to impress someone or make their day better. The effort is not worth my energy. I'm a loner, and despite that I have a close circle of friends and family members. Friends who seems to be very protective about what's happening around me. Your protectiveness towards me, I appreciate but I think it's a bit too much and I'm drowning with it. I think that is why I prefer being alone most of the time. I can't open my mouth to say "Please leave me alone." I can only smile and leave my phone unanswered so that you'll get the hint, right?
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苛苛する/させる

“You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.” - Chuck Palahniuk